5 ways to have a gender-neutral wedding and be more inclusive to the LGBTQ+ community.
Creating an inclusive wedding that embraces, values, and honors the uniqueness of all individuals is crucial for a gender-neutral wedding. The way you decide to celebrate your special day is a personal choice, and even as a heterosexual couple, there are methods to enhance LGBTQ+ inclusivity in your wedding. When attending a gender-neutral wedding, it is essential to acknowledge and respect the couple's preferences for your involvement in their celebration.
Wedding Roles
There are a few ways wedding roles come into play on a wedding day, and it’s possible to make these roles neutral to everyone involved.
The Couple: When referring to the couple, use “spouses”, “partners”, and “newlyweds” as a way to create inclusivity for both people getting married.
The Party: A mixed-gender wedding party can skip the gender-specific roles altogether. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can be titled as "wedding crew" or "attendants.” If you’re also having a wedding party walk down the aisle, you can have same-gender pairings walk down together.
Rethinking Certain Conventions
Weddings are deeply rooted in tradition, specifically the ceremony. Queer couples are finding ways to put their spin on the ceremony by having both sets of parents go down the aisle or choosing to go down the aisle together as a couple. If you’re considering having someone throw flowers before going down the aisle, this person can be a “cheer spreader” or instead of having a “flower girl” have a “flower child”.
When tying the knot, traditional phrases might not resonate with everyone, so we encourage couples to find what works best for them! Some of our favorites are “You may kiss”, "I now pronounce you life partners/lifemates”, or simply “I now pronounce you married.” You can skip the “marriage is between a man and a woman” line in your ceremony altogether. If you are having a religious ceremony, you can talk to your officiant about your beliefs and desire to consider alternatives.
Work With LGBTQ+ Vendors
Choosing vendors that align with your vision and neutrality is important. This ranges from photographers, videographers, florists, and even the venue. Checking with your venue to see if they have gender-neutral bathroom options and being upfront with your vendors about your needs can ensure that everyone is comfortable on the big day.
Bringing in queer vendors and people who understand the sensitivities around a gender-neutral wedding will make a big difference not only for the couple but guests alike. We have seen firsthand how important it is for couples to choose our LGBTQ+-friendly studio to document their day. It relieves any pressure and allows you to be your true selves in front of the camera.
We are frequently chosen by allies who share our commitment to supporting inclusive wedding vendors. We often see clients prioritize collaborating with individuals who embrace all forms of love, and this alignment matters significantly to them.
Pronoun Pins
An easy way to allow your guests to share their pronouns with other guests is by offering pronoun pins that they can attach to their outfits. You could also ask for their pronouns ahead of time by including a spot on the RSVP that allows you to incorporate their pronouns on their name tag.
Inclusive Language and Communication
From the invitations to any programs or signs at the event, use inclusive language that embraces diversity and doesn't assume gender roles. Avoid assigning seats based on gender. Consider open seating or create arrangements based on relationships rather than traditional gender divisions.
Communicate with anyone delivering a speech to discuss the appropriate pronouns they should use for whom, emphasizing the importance of accuracy. This dialogue enables the speakers to personalize their addresses and rehearse them in a way that respects and honors your specific requests.